The joys of moving!!

Moving House as you know is one of the most stressful experiences we have in our lives.

I can confirm this having recently moved but on this occasion my stress was eased somewhat by the efforts of ‘The Chosen Few’ namely a handful of my more long term slaves who are trusted to perform House Duties in my very own home.

Now I am the first to admit that I tend to refer to all of my slaves as ‘useless’ (well.. that’s ONE word I use to describe them anyway) but on this occasion I must say that ‘This Chosen Few’ as I call them proved themselves to be actually quite useful for once.

So a word of thanks to Slaves Dave, Tim, Gideon (Yes.. that’s Gideon) and Mike who did me proud this past few weeks. Dave, Tim and Gideon helped me at my new home performing a range of tasks such as cleaning, maintenance and even painting and decorating from time to time. Slave Mike however came in very useful today in helping to clean my former home. I am a stickler for cleanliness and wanted to make sure it was spotlessly clean before handing back the keys. It turned out to be a cracking farewell to my old home partly due to the slave’s stupidity and partly because I was in a rather Playful mood.

If you were reading Slave Mike’s Diary he may describe my mood as ‘Bitchy’ but this is MY Diary after all so let’s go with ‘Playful’ shall we?  I told him to get there at 9am sharp which of course he did, bit of a shame really as I didn’t arrive until after 10am. Still, there was a coffee shop nearby so at least he could get a coffee and a crap before his ordeal began. Don’t worry guys I know how nervous you guys get as you travel towards me to face your demons. Once inside he couldn’t wait to get his kit off … well   it was more a case of getting his Maid’s outfit on really. I have got a few slaves who dress like this and simply ponce around with a feather duster but Slave Mike really does believe in hard work just as well really, I had plenty for him to do.

As usual he tried to engage me in conversation and to my amazement said to me ‘When are you moving then Mistress?’  Well.. this really got me going.. I mean with the complete absence of any furniture or household items of any description it should have been obvious to anyone that I had either already moved or else been the victim of Burglary. I grabbed him by the ear and dragged him around the house asking such questions as… ‘Do you see a chair to sit down in slave?  or a bed to lie in? etc. etc.   ‘No Mistress’.. ‘No Mistress’ came the replies. Finally we reached the bathroom and I said ‘Ooh look at least I’ve still got a Toilet, shall we see if it works slave?’  With that I shoved his head down the loo and flushed it before telling him to get back to work and stop asking stupid questions.  He was left in the bathroom with instructions to clean the sink and bath with my ‘Mr. Muscle Spray, clean all of the windows and mirrors and remove the cobwebs on the ceiling with his feather duster and with that I retired to the kitchen to enjoy a nice cup of tea.  After a while I went to see how he was doing, now Slave Mike has this annoying habit of using the word ‘Literally’ all the time despite the fact that he rarely means it… BIG mistake… He was cleaning the sink when I innocently said ‘Don’t forget the cobwebs slave’ and he replied ‘I’ll literally do them in 2 minutes Mistress’. With that I left him again returning after 10 minutes only to find he still hadn’t removed the cobwebs. I pulled him up on it and the stupid git said ‘I am literally  just about to do that now’   I was not impressed and bellowed at him ‘So what the fuck were you LITERALLY doing this last 10 minutes you useless wanker?’  He was then immediately bent over and his ass was spanked 24 times… LITERALLY…  Again I left him for a while to make some phone calls and when I returned I couldn’t believe my eyes, the DIV was only cleaning the bath with the Window Cleaning Spray.  I asked for an explanation and he said that he had nearly finished the Bath when he ran out of ‘Mr Muscle Spray’ and thought it was a good idea just to finish it all off with the Window Cleaning Spray. I told him in no uncertain terms that it is not a slave’s job to think but just to obey. I slapped him around the face to show my anger and then made him dress in order to go round to the local supermarket.

Once dressed I ordered him to go to the shop and buy some ‘Mr. CUNT All in One Spray’  I made him repeat this out loud before sending him out with express orders to ask the Shop Assistant if he couldn’t find it. He didn’t look too confident and this was hardly surprising as there is obviously no such product. Sure enough the useless nerk returned a few minutes later with another bottle of ‘Mr. Muscle Spray’. I asked if he had asked the assistant and he said ‘Yes but they are sold out of Mr. CUNT Spray’   For a moment there I almost believed him, I mean in the last week alone I had sent 3 Men to this very shop inquiring about the very same thing so I knew it was in big demand. But as ‘Mr CUNT Spray’ was obviously just a figment of my wicked imagination, the slave had clearly been lying and so a Good Hard Caning was called for.

I gleefully delivered the caning and then it was ‘Back to Work’ for slave Mike. Once he had finished the bathroom I got him hoovering, unfortunately for him my hoover is just about the crappiest one in the whole world. It is really noisy, weighs a ton and to cap it all, it conks out every 20 minutes. He sheepishly came downstairs to tell me that he seemed to have broken the Hoover… cue Mistress Amberleigh going ‘apeshit’   It’s just as well that slave Mike can take his C.P. he certainly got plenty. I then got him working downstairs whilst the hoover cooled down and after several hours toiling away, the job was done to my satisfaction. With that I sent the slave on his way and said a fond farewell to my former dwelling smiling at the varied scenarios which I had enjoyed in my time there, today being no exception. And so it is ‘Pastures New’ for me now slaves and the good news is that my new home will need to be kept spotlessly clean but if you fancy the job I feel I must warn you of one or two things. Good Maids are not easy to find and they don’t come cheap either. I mean… today’s little episode cost £150… Still   you can afford it can’t you…. Mr. C.U.N.T.