More problems solved!

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Mar 6,2011

New games to play

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Feb 28,2011

NEW GAMES TO PLAY… Mistress and Slave, collectively an irresistable combination but individually so different as people. Many of our differences are obvious but others are not so. Take our respective laptops for instance or more specifically the Hotmail facility on each. Now from Monday to Friday I can imagine yours will look something like this… Inbox, Inbox, Inbox, Inbox(1), Inbox…  whereas mine may likely be more like this… Inbox(17), Inbox(21), Inbox(16), Inbox(23), Inbox(25)… Now as you well know Slave, I’m not one to mock the afflicted (it’s nice of your Mum to write to you once a week by the way) but you really should get out more you know.  And talking of my Mailbox, it’s been bursting at the seams just lately following some of my recent Blogs. My ’Back to School’ Blog featuring 3 naughty schoolboys certainly moved many of you, oh yes I’ve had enquiries from lots of miscreants who wish to return to their past and suffer the consequences at my willing hands.

Also the 3 boys who featured in that particular story Timmy, George and Dennis are returning next week after half term for me to mark their homework (and their naughty bottoms as well no doubt). I remember telling you that I suspected they were getting questions wrong on purpose to be punished but after the message I’ve received from George I’m not so sure in fact I’m beginning to think he’s not the brightest spark in the box after all. He has actually asked to play ‘The Weeniest Dick’ game again because he wants to win next time.

Now George try to understand if you had the smallest cock last time and it’s the same 3 guys next time unless you’ve had the most tender of transplants I’m afraid you will again be the first out of the door, you with me on that? Oh no, I’ve got a new game to try next time, I enjoyed the Game Show format so much, I’ve come up with a new one. I got the idea whilst having lunch with the Mistress I befriended at the Slave Party, Mistress Sonia, she is a Game Show addict and a formidable Lady of shall we say, more advanced years so I asked her for some ideas of old Game Shows she may remember. I should have known better though I reckoned without her razor sharp wit, I described the 3 miserable cocks on parade and she immediately suggested a Game called ‘Take Your Pick’. My mouth must have dropped open as I said ‘How can I take my pick when there’s Fuck all to choose from? She laughed and when she made her 2nd suggestion, I knew she was taking the piss… ‘Strike it Lucky’ indeed, once we had stopped laughing at that one we both agreed it would be a severe breach of the ‘Trade’s Descriptions Act’.  She suggested a few more which didn’t do anything for me before she suggested a very old Game which was apparently called ’3,2,1′ and sounds absolutely perfect for my purposes.

If you’re wondering why, please remember I’m an old fashioned girl at heart, I only deal in inches. So 3,2,1 it is, not sure of the format yet but Mistress Sonia has been teaching me the 3,2,1 hand gesture which the original quizmaster used to use in order to introduce the show. That way if the day ever comes when I can get these 3 Tiny Todgers on film together I’ll be able to use it to introduce them. I’m sure we will all look forward to that.   

Looking back still further among my Blogs, my Dear Amber page featuring the Cuckold Couple also brought massive response. I had loads of guys writing in saying how they would be willing to serve me in this way, yeh right!   Come on guys get real, first you need to book some sessions and then I will choose the role you play for me if any, sure you can tell me your dreams but only I will decide if they come true or not. Oh no by far the most interesting messages came from women who wanted to cuckold their husbands, one of them who I shall refer to as Mrs. X was so keen SHE actually booked 2 sessions with me, one was on her own and involved a good chat and a demonstration of how to use the punishment implements and also one where she dragged her pathetic excuse of a husband along for an initiation to Cuckolding .

I took the lead of course as I began to punish ‘Cuck’ (his new name) before encouraging Mrs X to take over, she needed little or no persuasion I have to say. I opened his eyes to the power of Foot Worship by making him service my lovely toes before repeating the excersize on his wife’s tired sticky feet, I warned him that if he didn’t make this a daily ritual for her from now on he would have me to answer to. In our private session after a little gentle persuasion she had revealed to me her most intimate secret. Her daughter has had a boyfriend for over a year now and she fantasised daily about taking him to bed with her, she could see he was attracted to her too but of course because of the situation she would never act upon her feelings. The whole situation had however awakened her dormant sexuality after years of being a mother and dutiful wife. She has developed a real desire for young Male meat, nothing wrong with that Mrs X.   I then told her how easy it is to get young Male Lovers on ‘Toyboys’R'us’ and also allayed her fears about her husband’s acceptance of all this. She could always threaten him with another session with me in my dungeon but I assured her that with training he would accept the situation and even welcome it. She was amazed when I predicted that within 6 months she would have him not only preparing her for the dates but also phoning her current Toyboy up to tell him his wife is ready for him and even paying for their night out on his credit card. Oh yes Mrs X. it’s all about conditioning you see. So if you are a young hunky Male living in the South London area, then beware as yet one more sex hungry ‘Cougar’ is let loose. No such worries for you eh slave? but I’ll do a deal with you this evening, be a good boy and write back to your mum and I’ll allow you to wank as you watch again the latest clips on my Members site. Night Slave

Just another quick one!

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Feb 9,2011

I had a new slave the other day who is now a member of the tiny todgers club and if hes a good boy he might be in with a chance of coming first !

Here is a pic of his little tiny willy for everyone to laugh at

Twit of the year awards

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Feb 9,2011

2011 TWIT AWARDS…

 ’Tis the time of the year when the Great British Pop World honours its star performers at the annual BRIT AWARDS, well my slaves I am announcing my very own awards this year which as you can see are called the 2011 ‘TWIT’ AWARDS. So… in no particular order here are the winners!
  ‘SLAVE OF THE YEAR’

Brian from Enfield. Solid, Reliable, EXTREMELY Servile and generous to boot. He takes his beatings well, does the Housework faultlessly when required and is both thorough and tender in all Foot Worship activities etc. He has booked many many sessions this year and has taken everything I have thrown at him… quite literally at times. Oh.. I almost forgot to mention, when he came to see me just before Christmas, he brought me some Holiday Brochures and a £I,000 cash bonus to go towards my next chosen Holiday. Well done Brian.

MOST LOYAL SLAVE OF THE YEAR this goes to my trainer boy well ugg boy more theses days he has been my long standing slave and has been in my service since day one of my domming days! he is a very good boy and always does such a good job on cleaning my uggs and trainers!

Now it’s time to announce the winner of the prestigious ‘WANKER OF THE YEAR’ award and this was won by a slave called ‘WANKER’ who else? Well actually I say who else but I have to say ‘TOSSPOT’ from Canterbury ran him a very close second.

Let me tell you about  Tosspot, he has booked 6 sessions with me this year and cancelled EVERY one of them at the last minute. In true Timewaster tradition it is always a Bereavement which causes the cancellation, I dunno.. the law of averages tells me that the mortality rate can’t be this bad but still I am supposed to swallow this crap. I wouldn’t mind but Tosspot doesn’t even bother to remember what he told me last time, I mean his poor old Mum has already died TWICE since I’ve known him ! You may well be wondering why Mistress tolerates this Loser, well that’s the funny thing despite the cancellations he always insists on paying me in full. So you see, he’s sent me hundreds of pounds so far and I couldn’t even tell you what he looks like and that is why he was such a strong contender for the ‘Wanker of the Year’ award.

But back to the real winner ‘Wanker’ now he really has got one of those faces you just want to slap even before you get ‘In Session’. He tries and always fails miserably to make me smile with one of his cringingly pathetic jokes last week being no exception. He tried to tell me about his Train Journey all paid for on his ‘Lobster’ Card. He must have some sort of a Death Wish that’s all I can think, and when he asked me if I’d liked his little joke, with a face like thunder I yelled ‘AM I LAUGHING?’ and with that I slapped his face and told him to strip. He followed instructions and then was put through an hour of pure hell. Well.. he did ask for it as far as I’m concerned. And then after the session is finished he is a right pain too, now I am not averse to a little conversation afterwards, I find it helps to build a stronger more lasting relationship but all he does is talk about himself. He spends most of his spare time at Shopping Centres looking for what he thinks are bargains and he will insist on asking me to guess how much this or that cost him. This week for instance he asked me to guess how much his Boots cost and when I said £70 he said ‘NO’ and then just stood there presumably waiting for me to make another guess, I mean how the hell am I supposed to know how much his Fucking Boots cost? Turned out that he got them for 20 quid, I tried to look pleased for him. By the time I’d kicked him out of the door he’d managed to tell me that his entire outfit cost him £85 although the Full Retail Price should have been £235… YAWN ! But what really clinched his award was how he went for my special offer on the used thongs he regularly buys . I had E. Mailed him with details of my ‘Two for the Price of Three’ offer (and yes, you did read me correctly there) and he Mailed me back straight away saying he would love to take advantage of this offer. You see, I told you he was a Wanker.

Now we come to our ‘NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR’ award and  this  award goes to Gerald who is the shopping slave I literally stole from the street, a wicked thing to do maybe but ‘Am I Bothered?’… Nah !!….  Now Gerald and I have been back to Ann Summers a few times now and my friends Annie and Dawn who work there always rush up to serve him now as they are so pleased to see him. Things have really escalated now to a stage where we openly choose undies for Gerald to wear himself, all paid for by him of course. At one point I could only stand back and laugh as Annie and Dawn had quite a vociferous argument over which style of thong would suit him. To make matters worse the shop was full of customers all laughing at the poor Man’s plight. Well done Gerald you are my ‘Newcomer of the Year’ but beware there are many more shopping trips planned for you and me throughout this year. I trust you will be looking forward to them as much as I am, she says with a huge touch of irony.

TV SHOW OF THE YEAR’ was won by ‘TRANNIE ANNIE’, pretty in pink as always my darling and ‘HOUSEBOY OF THE YEAR’ was won by ‘Mr. Muscles’ as the advert says… he really does LOVE the jobs I hate.  My Final Award goes to David from Bromley who wins ‘THE NERVOUS WRECK OF THE YEAR’ award. Now ‘Slavedave’ came to see me in January last year and despite the freezing temperatures he was sweating profusely with the stress of it all. As always, I was ‘dressed to kill’ as I opened the door but again despite this it took all of my powers of persuasion to entice him in. Once in session he was fine, taking his C.P. admirably, there was just one little problem. I noticed that with every series of Cane Strokes he was passing wind. They weren’t audible but if you are in a confined space with one person, suddenly it stinks to high heaven and you haven’t ‘let rip’ yourself well.. I’m sure you get my drift. I certainly got David’s ‘drift’… poo… and afterwards I thought I had to mention it to him. Well, he was both embarrassed and apologetic saying that he breaks wind whenever he is nervous but then in the next sentence he asked if he could come back again TOMORROW. I tried not to look too dismayed but thankfully he has settled down now and simply loves every moment he is with me, a lesson there maybe for those who are tempted but can’t pluck up the courage to follow their unusual but nevertheless NATURAL instincts. Afterwards he is always very complimentary and often remarks on how the ‘Emotional Release’ he gets from our session lasts for days and days. Now this sort of Post Session chat is valuable and very welcome compared to some prat trying to get me to guess how much his poxy boots cost. Well done David, truly ‘A Breath of Fresh Air’.. well.. eventually anyway.   

So that concludes my TWIT awards for the past year, do you fancy your chances of winning one yourself? If so you need to get in touch and book a session, you never know but this time next year you could be celebrating your ‘Wanker of the Year Award’ or if you’re really lucky you could win the Brand New category of ‘Tiny Todger of the Year’ . There is already stiff competition (I use the word ‘stiff’ loosely there) for this award and finalists will be paraded in front of me and my Tiny Todgers Club committee for a final decision. So come on guys, it’s up to you, you’ve got to be in it to win it.

Back to school

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Jan 31,2011

Yes slaves, your Mistress has had a ‘Back to School’ day today, not as a student of course… no… don’t be silly, I made my debut today as ‘Miss Amberleigh’ a new teacher in class controlling 3 naughty boys named Timmy, Dennis and George. I have a set fee for an all day session which they all happily paid, well… they need to know that Private ‘Education’ doesn’t come cheap these days.

Far be it from me to express any sign of weakness in your all conquering Mistress but I must confess when I got up this morning my 1st thought was ‘Gulp, what have I done?’  And my reason for this moment of apprehension on my part?  Well… as you can imagine at School I wasn’t exactly the most dedicated of scholars usually too interested in other things.                                                                                                   Consequently my own prowess in spelling and mental arithmetic although passable is not quite School M’am standard and there was I getting ready to judge others. I had nothing to concern me really as a very dedicated Slave of mine who is a Headmaster had already composed loads of very imaginative Questions and Answers on a variety of subjects for me to keep them busy. In any case, any lingering self doubts disappeared very quickly for 2 good reasons, firstly I got myself dressed for work and had a good long look at myself in my full length mirror. I looked at my shiny black high heeled shoes, my sexy black stockings, my figure hugging black skirt not to mention the tightest of white blouses showing off my ample bosom in all its glory.                                                                                                                                                                              I picked up my school cane in my left hand and tapped my right palm ever so gently with it, then I made eye contact with myself and saw the cold eyes of a Mistress. I was purring by this time as I pursed my lips, ‘this is how a slave sees me’ I thought to myself. I love to see the fear in a Man’s eyes as he awaits a good beating and equally I love them to see the glowing anticipation in my eyes. I want them to know that I will love EVERY moment of it. In this rather self indulgent moment Normal Service was resumed in an instant as I thought to myself… ‘WHO would dare argue with ‘Miss Amberleigh’? Well… would you slave?   I wouldn’t recommend it. And in any case when I did get in the classroom with them,  I needn’t have worried anyway because their spellings and arithmetic were even worse than mine ! Mind you, they were so bad I did begin to wonder if they were doing it on purpose to get extra punishments, surely not.  This very enjoyable day began with ‘Registration’ and my.. how things have changed over the years, what with the ‘Health and Safety Brigade’ we have these days, there were many  different forms they had to fill in before Class. There was even one question which said ‘What size is your penis?’, but more of that later. I began the lesson with a spelling test the 1st word being ‘HUMILIATION’ which set the tone for the day, I was soon in to my stride and the mistakes came thick and fast as did the punishments which followed. I began with light punishments, ‘smacked pandies’, standing in the corner etc. gradually moving towards severe caning which came in after Lunch. I wanted the day to be like a History of their own schooldays. Timmy insisted on wearing short trousers and I honestly lost count of the number of times these were lowered for a beating. He’ll sit down all right but not for a week or two that’s for sure.                                                                               I did actually experience a new sensation as I punished these naughty boys and one I am keen to repeat. As I punished one boy I was enjoying making eye contact with the other two, I wanted them to see that cold, heartless look in my eyes that I myself had seen in the mirror this very morning. I wanted them to read my mind, I wanted them to see me thinking ‘It’s your turn next mate’.  The day ended with an elimination game based upon the TV Game Show called ‘The Weakest Link’ which I called ‘The Weeniest Dick’. The winner would be allowed to worship my Feet for 5 minutes after a hard day at school. There were however no questions and answers in this game (we had had enough of that by then) … no  this was simply a Cock Measuring contest. Now I am often told by Men that the sight of a woman partly clothed is actually sexier than the nude female form. Guys like to imagine me unbuttoning my bra to reveal my boobs, seductively removing my stockings and then finally peeling down and then stepping out of my tiny moist thongs. Well, I had  I guess a similar form of anticipation as I made them stand with their hands on heads as I pulled down their trousers and this time their pants as well. I didn’t of course experience the breathless excitement you’ve just had at the thought of me stripping, no it’s just  that  I get the giggles when I know I am in for a good laugh. These losers certainly didn’t let me down, George was the one with the tiniest dick and I should have known what to expect because on the registration form which I told you of earlier, where it had said ‘What size is your Penis?’ George had written ‘N/A’  Also on the form he had written that in real life he was a builder by trade so I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and no I don’t mean I took a 2 hour tea break, no I decided to give him an estimate in fact we all gave him an estimate. Timmy gained a gold star for correctly estimating one and a quarter inches. I had estimated one inch exactly so I was a mile out… if you see what I mean, anyway what’s a mile between friends or even a quarter of an inch come to that?  I ejected George from the game, I looked him straight in the eye and said ‘You are the weeniest dick Goodbye’   I tried to look as severe as the rather stern lady on TV but it’s not easy when you’re grinning from ear to ear. I then had fun with the 2 remaining competitors by making them play with themselves for 2 minutes whllst I sat cross legged dangling my sexy shoe before their desperate eyes. I put them out of their misery by producing the tape measure and declaring Dennis the winner. Timmy was dismissed in the usual manner before Dennis enjoyed the prize he had worked all day for to end a simply brilliant day in School. I had a quick drink and chat with them afterwards and they had loved every minute, in fact they refused to leave until I had set them homework and given them 200 lines each.    So my slaves, that is the story of 3 very naughty boys today and what of you then?  Are you in need of further education?  Do you want to join? Are you fat, bald and naughty?    Well if you are any of these or indeed just curious, then you can be sure that Miss Stress is waiting for you.

Agony aunt Amber

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Jan 12,2011

Missed diary from new year

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Jan 6,2011

Todays bitch

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Jan 6,2011

Hello all my bitchs this is a little pic of my whore today , I really gave his bottom a beating he took over 200 lashes with flogger, cane and crop dont think he will be sitting down right for a week, also must say a little hello to my new slave who i shall call my number 1 maggot and has entered into the tiny penis club only withinch and the rest once i have 20 members ill post up the results,

Slave party

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Dec 29,2010

Wow, what a laugh… last Night’s Slave Swapping Party was definitely a night to remember. I met up with 5 Mistress Friends of mine and we each took along one Lucky Slave to swap for the night. I actually took along ‘INCH’ who is a relatively new slave of mine and he didn’t let me down.
I wanted to give the Girls a good laugh and we certainly got that when he dropped his pants, what a loser. We put all the slaves’ names into a wine glass and each Mistress pulled out a name to see who they would own for the night under the proviso that we would put back the name if we were paired with our own slave. Sounds fair to me, after all variety is the spice of life as they say. I was paired with a slave simply called ’56′ who belonged to Madam Victoria. He said he liked C.P. and had always fantasised about ‘Ballbusting’ .
By the time I had finished with him I think he wished it had remained as a Fantasy. There is something so challenging about being with another Mistress’ sub, I mean one wouldn’t like to be seen as a soft touch now would one? Oh yes, I really gave his pathetic cock and balls some stick poor ’56′.
Somehow though the highlight for me was seeing ‘INCH’ paired up with the imposing Mistress Sonia from Shepherds Bush. Sonia is a very mature and very imposing Lady with a very Loud, Deep and intimidating voice. She also has a shocking memory and she kept getting Inch’s name wrong, she mixed him up with the slave next to him who was called ‘Wanker’ . At one point she had him on a Dog Lead and was calling out ‘Walkies WANKER Walkies, there’s a good boy’. Poor Inch was so frightened of this powerful woman he daren’t even tell her his real slave name he just did as he was told, I was wetting myself. She also comandeered the big red settee and once she’d done that I knew she would play one of her favourite games. For her age, Mistress Sonia has the most amazing Tits and she loves to show them off in fact she often strips naked so she can be seen in all her glory. She told Inch to get her a book from the bookcase and then she said ‘Right slave I need a Fuck, show me what you’ve got’ and with that she started to read the book whilst paying NO attention at all to Inch’s pathetic efforts to get hard. Poor Inch, he can certainly raise a smile with his tiny cock but with all those people watching and laughing as well as the pressure of pleasing the daunting Mistress Sonia, a smile was about all he could raise. Eventually she looked up from her book but only to berate him for his inadequacy, it’s a good job that Inch is used to humiliation, he certainly got a Barrel load of it from this wonderful older Lady, God I hope I’m that good when I’m her age, truly inspirational.
I couldn’t believe it when she first told me about this unusual game she plays, it’s certainly brave but shows great confidence, I did laugh however when she told me about the time she nearly came unstuck. She has a young slave called Drew who is very unusual for a slave in that he is very well endowed. Well she tried the ‘I need a Fuck’ Game on him and got more than she bargained for. Before she’d even finished the first page, he was Rock Hard and got ready to mount her much to her dismay. Well in true ‘undercover journalist’ style she made her excuses and left. Shame really, I couldn’t help admiring Drew and part of me was almost willing him to do the business but then again a slave must always know his place. No such problems from Inch of course and talking of Inch, he went on to further glory by winning the last event of the evening which was a ‘Cock Measuring’ competition with the tiniest cock being declared the winner . Oh yes my boy won it by a mile.. er well in a manner of speaking. His prize was a forfeit where he was dressed and made up as a Tart before being forced to sing and dance for the entertainment of one and all. The poor Man nearly died of embarrassment he couldn’t think of a single song to begin with and ended up taking off Marilyn Monroe singing ‘Happy Birthday Mr. President’ to President Kennedy. Apart from the fact that the delectable Ms Monroe was an actress and not a singer, there’s only one verse to the song so he ended up singing it about 10 times.
As I said earlier what a loser! I must say though that after this first lamentable effort he did gain in confidence and treated us to a rousing version of ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ to conclude a simply brilliant evening. The final word though went to the towering Mistress Sonia, as we were bidding each other Goodbye she came up to Inch and told him how much she had enjoyed his performance. He answered by saying ‘Thankyou Mistress, I really had no idea I was so talented’ and she simply replied ‘You’re not Wanker you’re not’ As I said earlier slaves, what a Hoot

xmas time

• Author: amberleigh
• Filed under: Uncategorized
• Date: Dec 24,2010

CHRISTMAS NUMBER 1… Written by MISTRESS AMBERLEIGH and sung by ‘SLAVES ALOUD’, it’s a song entitled…’A SPANKING OVER THE KNEE.’ ‘On the 1st day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, a spanking over the knee. On the 2nd day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the third day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the fourth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the fifth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me F..I..V..E G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the sixth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, six of the best, F..I..V..E.. G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the seventh day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the eighth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, eight stinky farts, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E.. G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the ninth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, nine face slaps, eight stinky farts, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E.. G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the tenth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, ten toes to suck, nine face slaps, eight stinky farts, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E.. G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the eleventh day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, eleven hard kicks, ten toes to suck, nine face slaps, eight stinky farts, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a spanking over the knee. On the twelth day of Christmas Miss Amber gave to me, a twelve inch dick, eleven hard kicks, ten toes to suck, nine face slaps, eight stinky farts, seven fresh bogeys, six of the best, F..I..V..E G..O..L..D..E..N showers, four bowls of catfood, three used condoms, two swollen balls and a SPANKING OVER THE KNEE. END…. So there you are my slaves, your Christmas Number 1. Now ONE final task before I allow you to enjoy Christmas Day . On Christmas Morning you must go to the mirror and sing my song out loud in its entirety. This will serve as a reminder that Mistress Amberleigh is TRULY Number ONE. Merry Christmas Slaves… and you sing nice and loud now… x